Christian Science Testimony “Mad-Libs”: 2023 Edtion

An on-line discussion about the chapter “Fruitage” in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures prompted me to remember a game some who grew up in Christian Science played. You had to give a credible-sounding Christian Science testimony that used three random words that were given to you. Back in 2015, I turned this into a game we played in one of the ex-Christian Scientist groups I’m in on-line, and posted the results in this post. It’s been eight years now since that post, and a recent conversation prompted me to give this another go.

Recycling…

This was posted in an on-line group I’m in, and I thought it was funny. All over the world, old Christian Science churches are being re-purposed as this moribund religion shrinks away to its “native nothingness” (to use a well-known phrase from Mary Baker Eddy). Some have become condominiums, many have found new life as theatres, and others have become homes to congregants of different religions.

Something Funny

Here’s an oldie but goodie from the early 20th century.

Christian Science Testimony “Mad-libs”

Testimonies of healing are a central part of Christian Science practice. Mary Baker Eddy wrote of the importance of healing and testimonies of healing to Christian Science: “Testimony in regard to the healing of the sick is highly important. More than a mere rehearsal of blessings, it scales the pinnacle of praise and illustrates the demonstration of Christ, ‘who healeth all thy diseases’ (Psalm 103:3).”  (Manual of The Mother Church, Article VIII, Section 24, p. 47) Testimonies are published in the Church periodicals, and Wednesday Testimony Meetings are held weekly in all branch churches.

Where are my damn car keys?

Sweet mother of Jesus! I have been healed of writer’s block! While it may not seem that I have this affliction, since I write posts in advance and only post every other week, my output of late has slowed somewhat, and I don’t have quite as many posts in the queue as I normally do. However, thanks to our lard and saviour, I have found inspiration for a post!

Something Funny

Here’s an oldie but goodie from the early 20th century.

Thank You For the Readings From the Desk

Many a person who has spent any time marinating in the Christian Science Krazy Sauce will have heard the statement I use as the title for this post many, many times at Wednesday Testimony Meetings in Christian Science churches. In one of the ex-Christian Scientist Facebook groups I’m in, we’ve had a few funny riffs off that statement, with one person wondering how a ‘desk’ can read anything anyway, or how one could thank a ‘desk’, or how readings come from a ‘desk’. Christian Scientists are an odd lot indeed. If it seems odd enough to those of us who’ve been in Christian Science, it must look exceptionally weird to a complete outsider.

Algorithms Are Funny

I am equal parts annoyed, and sometimes amused by Facebook ads. Facebook uses some sort of algorithmic version of secret sauce to get their targeted ads to work, mining your profile information, things you post, comments you make, to try to figure out what kind of ads you’re interested in seeing. For some reason, however, it seems to think sometimes that I might be interested in adult incontinence products, although I’m not sure why. So, often they do get it wrong. Today, an ex-Christian Scientist friend of mine posted this screen-shot of a rather amusing Facebook ad fail. It seems that Facebook thinks Liz’s blog post about learning to ski as an amputee (by the way, Christian Science is the reason she is an amputee), might also be connected in some way to an article posted by the Christian Science Church on their own website. Me thinks they may need to tweak their algorithms just a little bit.

Something Phallic This Way Comes

Image credit: News.com.au

This is a Google Earth image that’s been making the rounds on the web lately. I pulled this image off an article on an Australian news site, but it’s been all over many others. It’s a satellite image of a new Christian Science Society building recently erected (sorry, I just can’t help myself) in Dixon, Illinois. Yes, the puns practically write themselves with this one; and yes, it is fitting that the town this building is located in is called “Dixon”. It’s hard not to laugh every time I see this, although I do honestly feel somewhat badly for the Society in Dixon.

Some Funnies

In the midst of some of the seriousness here on this blog, I feel like taking a break and having a laugh. Here are some Christian Science jokes…