A fellow ex-Christian Scientist blogger has often mentioned to me that she gets shocked and saddened sometimes at the search terms (usually centred around “death” and/or “death in Christian Science” or other such terms) that bring people to her blog. I haven’t noticed those types of search terms bringing people here quite as much (I don’t tag often with the “death” tag, so maybe that’s why), but it does happen, yes; but what has tugged at me though are a couple of comments that were shared on a recent post.
These people shared how they found this blog to be healing for them, and one went on to share a fair bit of their story–which was a painful story of growing up with the confusion that accompanies a faith that requires you to suspend all rational sense of reality.
On one hand, I’m glad this blog provides a place for others who’ve been through similar experiences to mine to relate, to vent and let it all out, and begin to heal, but on the other hand, I feel my heart tugged when I see the pain and conflict that these folks have had to, and continue to deal with, and I struggle with how to respond sometimes. It pulls at that side of me that wants to wave a magic want and take away all the hurt that people go through, but I know I can’t. By myself, I can’t save the world and everyone in it. I can only do what I can–in this context, by providing this forum that connects with people who have struggled with the same things I have. By doing that it brings them comfort, and helps them along on their path to healing.
I initially started this blog to help myself in my own healing journey, by writing about where I’ve been, what I’ve experienced, and where I am now. Writing is my therapy, and talking out the difficult experiences with people who understand is how we heal and move beyond them–contrary to how Christian Science teaches one to deal with problems. I also knew it would help others because I’ve gained tremendous healing by reading other peoples’ stories who’ve “been there, done that” with Christian Science as I have. I’ve always felt that if this blog helped even just one person beyond myself, I’d be overjoyed, and for me it would be worth the effort I put into it. I know it has helped a few people who’ve chosen to comment, and possibly more who just read what I put out here. It feels good in that respect. But, I still mourn for those who’ve experienced the pain and confusion that the practice of Christian Science can inflict.
As always, I invite anyone who wants to to share their story, if they feel that it would help them with their own healing. I’m happy to post guest entries (anonymously or not–your choice), or you can just share through your comments. This is a place to rant, vent, talk, and heal. Happy Sunday everyone!
P.S.–if anyone is looking for a secular group of former Christian Scientists, there are two Facebook groups. Please e-mail me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I will put you in touch with the group admins.