I am scheduling this post to go up on December 25th. Christmas is a holiday that I have a complicated relationship with. December 25th is the day my Dad died, in 2009. So, it is a combination of a very joyous day, and the anniversary of one of the worst days in my life. This year will mark 14 years since he died from a heart condition that was left untreated due to his faith in Christian Science. Like I said, it’s complicated.
In the United States, and to a lesser degree, here in Canada and other “western” countries, there are a number of militant Christians with an over-inflated persecution complex who think there is some sort of “war on Christmas”, especially when someone wishes them anything other than “Merry Christmas”. On the other side of the debate, are the militant secularists and others who get bent out of shape if you dare to wish them a “Merry Christmas”. I can’t stand either side, even though I am atheist. I suppose I am a radical moderate.
If someone does wish you “Happy Holidays”, they are simply acknowledging and providing space for the fact that the months of November to January is a time that is filled with many festivals and holidays across many cultures and traditions. There is the Jewish festival of Hannukah; in the African American community, there is Kwanzaa, which combines aspects of various African harvest celebrations; in Japan, there is Ōmisoka, New Years Eve, which is the second most important day on their calendar; Yule, a pagan celebration of the solstice will seem familiar to many of us, as the traditions such as Christmas trees, gift giving, and decorations originate with this festival; Hindus have Diwali, Pancha Ganapati, and Vaikuntha Ekadashi; Persians have Yalda, a solstice celebration; Buddhists have Bodhi Day; and Lohri and Boghi in Punjab and Sikhism. I think you get the picture, there is a lot, and I’m sure there are more than I listed here. Truth be told, and maybe this is a Canadian thing, but I have memories reaching back as far as I can remember of cards that say “Season’s Greetings”. Wishing people something other than “Merry Christmas” is not new.
The winter solstice is a big deal across most cultures, especially here in the northern hemisphere, and has been from ancient times. It heralds the return of the sun. The days get longer from now forward. I’m thinking that’s why there are so many festivals and celebrations. Christmas is one of many solstice-related holidays, and it borrows heavily from many others that long pre-date it. I say this not to de-legitimize Christmas, but to emphasize that it is not only Christians, Jesus, and Christmas this time of year, and that most of the traditions surrounding the celebrations of Christmas have their roots in decidedly pagan origins. I just think it is important to give everybody the space to celebrate the season in whatever way they choose.
So, if someone wishes me “Merry Christmas” you know what? Even though I am atheist and I don’t celebrate the birth of Jesus, I love and appreciate the greeting, and I accept it with joy and gratitude. Sometimes, I just say “Merry Christmas” back to them, or I say thank-you. On my own initiative, I will usually wish people “Happy Holidays”, but that is my choice. Let’s just enjoy the season no matter who we are or what we celebrate. Getting into a pissing match just sucks the joy out of it. There is room in this world for everyone, if only we keep that space open.
Also, please realize that this is not necessarily a happy time for some people. For many years, after my Dad’s death, it was not a happy time for me, and I deeply appreciate the people who gave me the space I needed to grieve. For a few years, I dreaded the holiday season and all of the joy that I felt was imposed on me during a time when I felt completely alone and joyless, as it marked the time that I lost the last member of my immediate family, and the one I was closest to. That was several years ago, and I have done a lot of healing since then. I have found my joy in the holidays again. I love the decorations, and I love the time with my family and close friends, and watching the excitement my grandchildren experience. Not everybody has the privileges many of us take for granted, and I just ask for empathy, and to give them the space they need.
Thank you, and Happy Holidays! I hope you all have a good one!
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Further Reading:
Wikipedia: List of multinational festivals and holidays.
WorldStrides Educational Travel & Experiences: December Holidays around the World.
Emerging Gently 
sorry for your loss. I lost dad in 2007, and mom in 2017, with no family showing up at all for wake or funeral. That includes uncle, niece, and nephew. and my friend from 1979, came in after all that time to help and she died of lung and brain cancer 2 years ago. I pray at times. to just die peacefully in my sleep. My prayers are for your peace.
Michael
Thank you! Loss of those closest to you is never easy. They leave a hole that will always be there. Even if that hole is filled back in, it is not the same as it was before. I am privileged to have been able to fill the holes left by my parents’ and brother’s deaths over the years, but it is never the same. It is different. A good kind of different, but on anniversaries like this, you’re reminded of those who you don’t see anymore.
I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you are able to find healing, and a way to “fill” the holes back in. All I can say, is let the grieving process take its course–I have learned from some Indigenous cultures that tears have a purpose: they cleanse you, and that grieving is a natural and necessary thing. Peace to you, and happy holidays!