Sh*t Christian Scientists say

The subject and title of this post is inspired by a Facebook page and website I frequent that skewers our former Prime Minister here in Canada, called Today, my topic du jour is Sh*t Christian Scientists Say. Perhaps a follow-up post will be something along the lines of Sh*t Christian Scientists Did/Do, however, that one will not be so tongue-in-cheek funny as this post is. Some of the sh*t Christian Scientists have done is truly terrible. Anyway, read on, dear readers…

Many thanks to the members of the ex-Christian Scientists Facebook group for their contributions to this post. Here goes:

  • “I knew the truth….and there were my keys! Right on top of the car. Divine Love led the way. I’m so grateful for Christian Science!”
  • “What a wonderful demonstration.”
  • “A beautiful ‘unfoldment’.” So–did the sheets ‘unfold’ beautifully?
  • “This is an opportunity for spiritual growth.” I often heard this statement, or a version of it, used in connection with talking about something challenging or unpleasant.
  • “I remember I was never allowed to say I was sick. I may have had a ‘belief of sickness’, or was simply not feeling my best, but sick? Never.”
  • “Let’s pray about it and see how things unfold.” I once prayed for my sheets to unfold…
  • “We just need to ‘demonstrate supply.'”
  • “Reverse the picture.” Is that the same as backing up your car?
  • “Claim your rightful heritage.”
  • “Happy Progress Day…we mustn’t think materially…”
  • “We’ll just pray for the ‘rightness’ of this idea.”
  • “If mortal mind knew better, it would do better.”
  • “That wasn’t me correcting you. It was Divine Mind.” (said after having made a critical or unkind comment).
  • “Sorry, that wasn’t the real me, that was mortal mind being an asshole.”
  • “I’m suffering from a seeming belief in [insert name of disease here].”
  • “Unfoldment, unfoldment, unfoldment!”
  • “The right job/opportunity will unfold for me.” Truth be told, this is one I remember saying when I was unemployed.
  • “It’s just error or mortal mind!”

3 thoughts on “Sh*t Christian Scientists say

  1. Out of ten years of marriage to a CS, and a very CS family (I was not), let me throw in a few extras I remember- and shudder at… (1) What a wonderful opportunity this is for spiritual growth! (everything was an opportunity, nothing ever just was what it was), (2) There is only One Mind. Do you think you know better than God?, (3) No, no no….don’t go there. That’s Mortal Mind talking (whenever you voiced something that wasn’t in line with CS, the Practitioner, the Teacher, the Family. It was like being scolded), (4) We’re so lucky for what Mrs. Eddy revealed to us. This is the only way. We have to protect it, and (5) Does that sound like a thought from God? To me it sounds like human will. (Try for a good comeback to that one- I don’t have one). All I can say is rinsing that stuff out of my head took years. I remember thinking so many times- how can I supposedly be in alignment with God, and CS, and feel like such a failure. All. The. Time.

  2. “Let’s not make error real” said anytime I felt a need to talk about a problem I was having. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I understood that by talking about problems your life could be made better.

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