I just got home from a long weekend, and kick-off to summer. With the usual sunbaked gratefulness for the soft embrace of my own bed, and the welcome clean-off of a cool shower, I reflect back on it. Without going into a lot of detail, this weekend was an Aboriginal/Native American spiritual retreat of sorts. For the most part, the experience we all share on this weekend is a deeply personal one, and I will keep it that way, but I will share one detail that is very pertinent to you, my friends: I thought a lot about my current faith path, and my previous one–which was Christian Science. That was the big thing on my mind. Was I on the right path? How do I feel about where I was? How do I reconcile it all? Would I ever consider going back to Christian Science?
Honestly, I never thought I’d leave Christian Science as much as I have (completely, that is), or even a few years ago, I never thought I’d leave at all. Also, never did I see myself as one who would in any way speak out against it. Now, I write this blog, albeit behind a shield of anonymity. My point is, you never know what your path is going to be. But, I’ve learned that the best thing you can do is simply to just “go with it”.
I’ve never been happier in my life than I have been on the current path I’m on. So much about it just resonates with me on a level I never thought possible, and it simply just makes sense. Added to that is a sense of fellowship, really of brotherhood and sisterhood that could never in a million years be found in Christian Science. Fellowship is to Christian Science, what emotion is to a Vulcan–it virtually doesn’t exist. It’s not in the Christian Science DNA. Sure, sometimes they try, but I’ve always found it to be awkward at best, and embarrassing at worst. It’s like that awkward hug with the aunt who scares you. You do it because you sort of have to, but you really don’t want to, and it’s, well, awkward.
Reconciling my current path to where I’ve been, do I have any regrets about my life as a Christian Scientist? Not really. I see it as a path I needed to be on. In it’s own way, it brought me to where I am now. Yes, I do wish I could jettison the remaining “baggage” from Christian Science that I still carry, but I will. All in due time. I realize that if you’ve been in a place you didn’t like, a place that didn’t work for you, it makes you more appreciative of the right place when you get there. That’s how I see the two faith paths I’ve been on.
On the last point, would I ever go back to Christian Science? I’ve always lived by the adage, “never say never”, but I can be pretty sure that I will NEVER go back to Christian Science. The last box of Christian Science books is on its way to the dumpster (hard to do because I simply don’t like to toss books in the garbage, no matter what the subject matter)–AFTER I’ve had a shower. Priorities–I’ve been out in the mountains for four days, got a lot of grime to wash off. Then I can wash off the last of the past.