It’s been a few Mothers Days now since my own mother’s death. It’s easier now, and I even celebrate it, and so enjoy the joy my friends who are moms or whose moms are still with them have on this day. It wasn’t so easy the first time. Mothers Day was depressing.
Back then, in typical Christian Science (CS) fashion, yes I was still somewhat in the faith, although the doubts were becoming undeniable, I suppressed my grief. My dear father did the same, and I firmly believe that’s partially what hastened his own demise later that year. In my CS-twisted mind, grieving was giving in to matter, it was giving reality to death, suffering–all those things that are supposedly “false illusions of mortal mind”. Oh what crazy bullshit! Sorry for the profanity, but I can’t put it any other way. So often, I hear other former Christian Scientists (CS-ists) use the term ‘bullshit’ for much of the crazy stuff CS-ists put out there. It’s such a fitting term.
I have realized now, especially on my new spiritual path, that grieving is a very natural and necessary thing. It is a mental cleansing. I like what a few of my spiritual mentors have said, “Creator gave us tears for a reason…”; that reason is to cleanse us. Tears are not something to be suppressed or ashamed of. Although I still don’t cry in front of other people, I am no longer afraid of having a good cry if the occasion demands it. There is nothing unmanly at all about that. It’s a very natural part of life.
One of the many things I love about Aboriginal spirituality is that it does not in any way deny the human existence. It embraces it, finds reason in everything we experience, and acknowledges and validates it. Everything has a purpose. Everything and everyone has value, and all should be respected and honoured.
Embracing and experiencing my grief has been such a healing experience for me. It has allowed me to acknowledge who may parents were for me, how much I loved and still love them, and it has helped me to now move on with my life. I have had healing in this way, simply by acknowledging my very human existence and experiences, than I ever had with CS and its culture of denial.
Happy Mothers Day to all the moms, grandmothers, and the single fathers out there who fulfill both roles. I salute all of you!